Biological Siblings

She has one full sibling and five half siblings.
Yet she is an only child.
Some of her siblings live with their father, some with grandparents and some with their other parent.
None live with their biological mother.
She complains to me frequently that she wants a brother or a sister.
She has them but does not know about them...yet.
How do you explain to an almost seven year old child the dynamics of her siblings? Why do some live with her biological father? More importantly why doesnt she live with him?
I know I am going to have to explain it to her in the future, when she is much older.

Telling your child they are adopted

I knew right from the beginning that being anything but 100% honest with Sarah about her birth was not acceptable.

I knew the statistics that said children who find out later in life that they were adopted struggle. They feel betrayed, ungrounded, and angry.

My plan was to talk to Sarah from the very beginning about her adoption. I told her she grew in my heart, not my belly. At the time, for a toddler there were no questions. She accepted my explanation of her existence with certainty.

Now as Sarah is getting ready to turn seven, the story of her birth has grown. She knows she grew in another womens belly. She knows the first name of that woman. She knows her daddy and I took her home from the hospital.

I know the older she gets the questions will get harder to answer. I know one day she will look at me and think that I am not "really" her mother. But as I look into her eyes now as she asks me about the belly she grew in, I know I made the right decision. It is her history and she has a right to know how she came to be.

I feel as though I am in more of a grey area because she was adopted through foster care. How much do I share? Will she be devestated? Will she think less of me because her biological parents did not intend to relinquish their child?

Only time will tell. I know that she will never doubt our love for her. I know she will grow up safe and secure and have every opportunity available to her that might not have been otherwise.

Gift Cards to support adoption!!!

Ok guys. I added some gift cards to my online site that are available for purchase!

We all know gift cards make great gifts and now you can help families bring their chosen child home! 80% of ALL profits will be donated to a family who is in the process of adoption!!!

If you are interested please click on the link on the right side "Helping bring families together one child at a time"



Thank you! :)

Jealous? Really????

I thought I was past feeling jealous when someone was about to have a baby. My cousin is due in August with her third boy, and her baby shower is this Saturday.

Im happy for her- I truly am.

But I find myself having ugly thoughts that keep popping into my head.

Everyone is so excited. Going to great lengths to make the party fabulous. I am even co-hosting the party. But I feel...

Left out. Isolated.

Is that even possible? My daughter was adopted. I never had a baby shower or an adoption shower thrown for me.

Every baby item my daughter had- I bought it.

My step mother is even buying the crib.

I had to buy my daughters crib.

Im embarassed to say I am jealous, but I am.

Blessed

I am.

I have been blessed with a family.

I have been blessed with a career I love.

I have been blessed with having so much more than most people.

Giving back is hard.

Where do I start?

There are so many things that could change the life of a person.

I think a lot about my daughter. What would have happened to her if we had not adopted her? Where would she be now? Would she be happy and healthy? Safe? Would she know love?

There are still so many children in the world who do not know the love of a family.

That is where I want to give back. But how? I am open to ideas if anyone has any. I recently opened an online store- that lets y ou buy direct from amazon. Same prices, same deals.

I have decided that 80% of any money I make by sponsoring that site will be donated to a family. A family trying to grow.

If any one would like to repost my link- on the top right side of my blog please feel free! Or if you know of a family- please send me a message!

From the heart.

Yesterday when Sarah came home from spending the night over her grandparents house she told me she went to church with Pappy and Grammie.

My dad then told me she told the pastor that she is adopted. When Sarah heard my dad tell me this, she looked at me and said "I told her I'm from the heart mommy."

A flood of emotions washed through me. I am happy she is beginning to understand how she came to be my daughter. I am also happy she feels comfortable right now to talk about it with other people.

We talk about her adoption often. I even bought an awesome book that we read by Jamie Lee Curtis, "Tell me again about the night I was born". More than anything I am pleased with myself for being able to do the right thing and have her grow up knowing the truth- or most of the truth anyways. We still plan on telling her the whole story-when she is older and able to process that information.

A few of my family members dont agree with me. They would rather I swept her prior identity under the carpet along with her original birth certificate. They see her as mine-and she is; just not by blood.

Is blood thicker than water?

Yes, I believe it is. My daughter is not my blood-but I love her more than anything on this entire planet.

Here and there,,,

Thats where I have been. I am sure no one is still reading-but that is my own fault.

Life has been going by so quickly. Sarah is in kindergarten. Growing big. Lost a tooth. The light of my life in so many ways...

I love that she is in school and learning so much. We got a puppy last year. A boxer. She is crazy- I am convinced.

We still have our chickens. Although they are more like escape artist renegades. One was actually killed in front of my daughter, by a hawk. So we had an early lesson on life and death and chicken heaven.

The winter is ending (hooray!!!). After over 3 feet of snow this year I am sure I offically have seasonal affective disorder.

We are in the middle of a major home renovation. Everything is where it should not be. Our living room is in the kitchen. And it looks as though it will be like this for at least 4 more weeks.

We are going on vacation in 12 glorious days. Disney-watch out!!! I have a little princess who will bankrupt us no doubt and run us ragged until we are on the verge of collapse.

Thats about it- and it is definately enough!!

Day 5

Still going

My husband however has unofficially crumbled. He has drastically cut down but he is not going to be able to do this without medicatation. Im fine with that-I just dont want him to quit quitting....

I found that stopping smoking has also improved my parenting skills..Heh...It has given me an edge..The edge I needed to instill soome deeply needed discipline. The edge I needed to enforce that she will eat the whole damn hotdog and NOT just four bites because her belly only wants candy.

I am embarrassed to say that before I started to quit we both were becoming the "giving in" type of parents. Trust me when I say we are both NOT the "giving in" type people..it just became easier to do than deal with the constant tantrums, crying, slamming doors- and yes most of the crying was from me...

Day 3

Was rough

So far so good though- I have resisted the urge for a cigarette

Do you know how many times during the day that I had that uncontrollable feeling of anxiety build up in my chest? SO many times Im not even sure on the number

My husband is trying. I give him much credit. Even though I know he snuck a cigarette last night. He denies it- but the smell resonates from him.

I quit

Smoking that is.

I have been a smoker for almost 13 years. I started way young- and here I am at a ripe old age of thirty feeling the effects.

Its time.

Yesterday I had 5 cigarettes (Im normally a pack a day smoker)

Today I only had 3...and....

man...

I feel rage boiling.

I cant believe the hold nicotine has on my body. It is insane.

I am having a glass of wine this evening to smooth over the unpleasant feeling I have right now... I am disgusted that I let cigarettes consume my life, my health, and my bank account for this long...

You know what finally broke the camels back? Not the shortness of breath I have been experiencing nor the gross early morning cough...TAXES!!!! Thats right cigarettes are now up to $6 a pack where I live. I'll be damned if I was going to pay that much to kill myself a little bit each day...

Both my husband and I are doing this together...wonder which one of us will crack first??

Oh boy

Well I guess you could say I have been on a long hiatus. Havn't been feeling very motivated to blog. Everything is fine. Just busy.

I started back to school last September- Yay me!!! I cannot tell you how much I just want it to be done already!!!

Sarah is getting big- she will bee 5 in August. And will be going to
K-I-N-D-E-R-G-A-R-T-E-N!! i AM IN SHOCK, DENIAL AND WANT TO PEE MY PANTS EVERYTIME I THINK ABOUT IT.

Im not sure if she will be ready for it though. I figured worst case scenario she will just repeat it. We are putting her in a private fullday kindergarten because of course the school district we live in- which we pay THOUSANDS of dollars a year in school taxes does NOT have a full day program- only half day... Cant figure that one out at all. I mean both parents work normally now a days...

SHe is smart but she is still delayed. Her speech is improving but she gets frustrated with her words frequently. I dont know what to think about her counting skills. Sometimes I think she can count well and others its almost like she is dyslexic-mixing them all up...1 2 4 6 3 9 20 12 and so on..

I love her to pieces...even when she tells me that Im boring now or when she rolls her eyes non stop at me...I can just see the fun I will have when she is a teenager.

She goes to dance class every week now, she tries really hard but her feet just kinda do their own thing..lol...dance class is painful for me- the other moms...I just can't seem to connect with them. They are all so mean. Come on- the kids are 4-5 years old they can barely walk in a straight line and you want to criticize a little girl because her tondu is not perfect? They are just lucky i havn't heard them discussing my daughters happy feet like choreography..lol

Im here...

Still. I honestly am on here everyday checking everyones blogs but I havnt had the will power todo anything with mine. Lots of new stuff. The most important, our family is doing good. Sarah continues to grow and amaze me each and every day.

I need to post more...I do...I have so much frustrations built up I seriously need to get them out somewhere...even if no one reads here anymore..lol..

FIF: Alaksa Salmon bake with Pecan Crunch Coating

INGREDIENTS
3 tablespoons Dijon mustard
3 tablespoons butter, melted
5 teaspoons honey
1/2 cup fresh bread crumbs
1/2 cup finely chopped pecans
3 teaspoons chopped fresh parsley
6 (4 ounce) fillets salmon
salt and pepper to taste
6 lemon wedges



DIRECTIONS
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C). In a small bowl, mix together the mustard, butter, and honey. In another bowl, mix together the bread crumbs, pecans, and parsley.
Season each salmon fillet with salt and pepper. Place on a lightly greased baking sheet. Brush with mustard-honey mixture. Cover the top of each fillet with bread crumb mixture.
Bake for 10 minutes per inch of thickness, measured at thickest part, or until salmon just flakes when tested with a fork. Serve garnished with lemon wedges

46 Months

Inching closer to the big "4". I still cant believe it.

This past month has had its ups and downs. You are growing fast. The things that come out of your mouth never cease to amaze me. Your sense of humor is developing too. You like to pull "tricks" and tell jokes. The silly faces- oh boy.

You are developing an artistic side. You love to color and draw and take pictures with my camera. You know what? You take really nice pictures too. It is nice to see things how you see them- through your eyes.

The ABC song is easy for you- you even try to sing it backwards, You know all the words to our special bedtime song and sing it with me.

Your appetite is growing too- no longer are you as picky with your food. We went from only 5 things you would eat, to- maybe 7??? LOL. Pickles still being your favorite.

You still dont like to clean up your toys when I ask you to. You say "your arms are broken" which is funny cause you seem to use them just fine after the mess is cleaned or you get in trouble.

We took you fishing for the first time ever a few weekends ago. Your still too much of a social butterfly to be able to sit quietly for long and wait for the fish. Oh- and you only wanted to catch 'little' fish NOT 'big' fish. I'll never forget the first time you reeled in your line and you saw the worm and said "Look mom- I caught a WORM!!!- a big WORM!!!!- I have to show Daddy my new worm-he can sleep in my room..."

Life is so fun with you. You inspire me each and every day to be a better person than the day before...I love you....

Mommy

Frustrations

That is the place I am in right now. I. Am. So. FRUSTRATED!!! LOL. It does feel better to get that out!!

Sorry for the lack of posting- except for the recipes- but I have been quiet. Quiet for me is normally a bad thing.

Sigh-my cousin and her two boys are still living with me. It is hard. Really hard. So hard in fact that I am looking longingly out my sunroom window wishing it was more than 10 feet off the ground so I could jump...well maybe Im being a
tad over dramatic now.

They are messy, loud, disrespectful, and have an utter disregard for peoples' belongings. My cousin is no better. She takes the easy way out by ignoring their bad behavior-which makes me seem super mean because I refuse to ignore and DO discipline them.

They are mean to my daughter- which I have no tolerance for. They take her toys and wont let with them. The eight year old is the worst. He has ADHD and no amount of medication seems to make a difference.

I hate to say it- but I am going to have to ask them to leave. Soon. Really soon. Otherwise my mental health might not be able to take it!!!

FIF: Parmesan Encrusted Chicken

INGREDIENTS
1/2 cup finely crushed herb-seasoned stuffing mix
3 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese
1 tablespoon dried parsley
1 teaspoon curry powder
1 tablespoon Italian-style seasoning
3 tablespoons butter
6 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves



DIRECTIONS
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F
In a small shallow dish combine the stuffing mix, cheese, parsley, curry powder and seasoning. Mix together.
In an 8x11 inch baking dish, melt the butter/margarine in the microwave. Dip the chicken breasts in the stuffing mixture, coating both sides of each breast.
Place chicken in baking dish and sprinkle any leftover stuffing mixture over the chicken. Bake in the preheated oven for 20 minutes, then turn chicken pieces over and bake for another 20 to 25 minutes or until chicken is cooked through. Enjoy!

Tea Biscuits

"A quick tea time treat. Serve warm, buttered, and with jam or honey."



INGREDIENTS
2 cups all-purpose flour
4 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup shortening
3/4 cup milk





DIRECTIONS
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (205 degrees C). Grease a baking sheet.
Combine flour, baking powder, and salt. Cut shortening in until mixture has a fine crumb texture. Stir in milk with a fork to make a soft dough. Knead 8 to 10 times, and then roll out to a thickness of at least 1/2 inch. Cut into rounds with a cookie or biscuit cutter. Place on cookie sheet, and allow to rest for a few minutes.
Bake for 12 to 15 minutes. Serve warm.

Favorite Ingredients Friday: Applesauce pancakes

INGREDIENTS
2 cups dry pancake mix
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
2 eggs
1 cup applesauce
1 teaspoon lemon juice
1/2 cup milk

DIRECTIONS
In a large bowl, stir together pancake mix and cinnamon. Make a well in the center of the pancake mix. Add the eggs, applesauce, lemon juice and milk; stir until smooth.
Heat a lightly oiled griddle or frying pan over medium high heat. Pour or scoop the batter onto the griddle, using approximately 1/4 cup for each pancake. Brown on both sides and serve hot.

Date Night

My husband and I have been married for 8 1/2 years.

That is a long time.

A really long time.

So time in fact, I think; you begin to lose some of who you were "before" marriage. You start to blend into a being who ends up just coexisting with each other- not realizing the gap developing. Until you suddenly open your eyes one day- and your like 'Oh shit, who the hell is this person sleeping next to me???'

I think thats the road we were headed down. We both have been busy, with work, with our daughter and with ourselves. We were neglecting our marriage though. We were slipping away as best friends.

So we decided to take time out of our schedules and be spontaneous- however for us being 'spontaneous' requires a date and time on the calendar....We are now trying weekly date nights. Last night was our first one and we went BOWLING!!!

I had such a good time. It literally has been a decade since I had went bowling last. I lost horribly- but we had so much fun. Of course Im sure the alcohol helped us along. We have plans to go back next Wednesday.

I know this cant solve all of our problems but I think I might at least get my best friend back.....

Autism: Signs & Symptoms

Signs and symptoms

In general, children with autism have problems in three crucial areas of development — social skills, language and behavior. The most severe autism is marked by a complete inability to communicate or interact with other people.

Because the symptoms of autism vary widely, two children with the same diagnosis may act quite differently and have strikingly different skills.

If your child has autism, he or she may develop normally for the first few months — or years — of life and then later become less responsive to other people, including you. You may recognize the following signs in the areas of social skills, language and behavior:

Social skills


Fails to respond to his or her name
Has poor eye contact
Appears not to hear you at times
Resists cuddling and holding
Appears unaware of others' feelings
Seems to prefer playing alone — retreats into his or her "own world"

Language


Starts talking later than other children
Loses previously acquired ability to say words or sentences
Does not make eye contact when making requests
Speaks with an abnormal tone or rhythm — may use a singsong voice or robot-like speech
Can't start a conversation or keep one going
May repeat words or phrases verbatim, but doesn't understand how to use them
Behavior


Performs repetitive movements, such as rocking, spinning or hand-flapping
Develops specific routines or rituals
Becomes disturbed at the slightest change in routines or rituals
Moves constantly
May be fascinated by parts of an object, such as the spinning wheels of a toy car
May be unusually sensitive to light, sound and touch
Young children with autism also have a hard time sharing experiences with others. When someone reads to them, for example, they're unlikely to point at pictures in the book. This early-developing social skill is crucial to later language and social development.

As they mature, some children with autism become more engaged with others and show less marked disturbances in behavior. Some, usually those with the least severe impairments, eventually may lead normal or near-normal lives. Others, however, continue to have severe impairments in language or social skills, and the adolescent years can mean a worsening of behavior problems.

The majority of children with autism are slow to acquire new knowledge or skills. However, some children with autism have normal to high intelligence. These children learn quickly yet have trouble communicating, applying what they know in everyday life and adjusting in social situations. An extremely small number of children with autism are "autistic savants" and have exceptional skills in a specific area, such as art or math.

When to seek medical advice

Babies develop at their own pace, and many don't follow exact timelines found in some parenting books. But children with autism usually show some signs of delayed development by 18 months. If you suspect that your child may have autism, discuss your concerns with your doctor. The earlier treatment begins, the more effective it will be.

Your doctor may recommend further evaluation if your child:

Doesn't babble or coo by 12 months
Doesn't gesture — such as point or wave — by 12 months
Doesn't say single words by 16 months
Doesn't say two-word phrases by 24 months
Loses previously acquired language or social skills at any age