Gearing up for the Holiday Weekend...

I totally forgot this weekend was fourth of July. Until--yesterday!! Errr. I have sooo much to do!! We made reservations to rent an RV and go camping. So atleast everything was technically PLANNED- but I still have to run around and get everything I need. Everyone is doing really good. Sarah is growing and growing. Her appetite has really picked up!! We had a speech therapy appointment set up for her tommorrow- but I rescheduled it for August. Her vocabulary seems to be approving so I have decided to wait a bit to see if she improves on her own. She will be 2 in August but technically she is 2 months behind in everything due to her prematurity...So we'll see..My stepdaughter has been with us now for a week. She is from Washington State. We have her every summer for 6 weeks and every Christmas vacation. So far so good. She will be 13 in September (yikes!!!). Last summer we had some jealousy problems. Which I knew was coming. But so far she is doing really well with Sarah. It is easier since Sarah is more mobile and more fun to play with now. Sarah absolutely **adores** her big sister. I am so glad she gets to spend time with her. 5 more weeks to go--hopefully it will stay wrinkle free!!! This is our last summer in Florida so we are going to try to get aruond and do somethigns we have not yet done in all of our years down here. My husband and I have been to disney a million and five times--but have yet to take Sarah. I think we are going to save that for Christmas time though-when it is cooler and she is a bit older!! I can't wait to take her to Magic Kingdom and dress her up like Cinderella!! What a dream come true for me!! For a long time I never thought I would have a child TO do stuff like that with...God is amazing!! I have been thinking alot lately about unanswered prayers...and how things work out...but I think I will save that for the next post!!

A picture is worth a thousand words...

Christmas past...

I sat on the floor with Sarah sunday night reading her a book. We were in her room. She has this one stuffed rockinghorse that winds up and play a lullaby. It was given to her for her first Christmas in 2004 by her biological paternal step grandmother (BPSG). Man that is a mouthful!! So she sat on my lap and I told her who it was from and we listen to it play its music. It was a very bittersweet moment. I told her that I would save it for her always and explain who it was from again when she was older. Obviously I know she did not understand a word I told her tonight.
I remember that first Christmas very well. Her biological paternal grandparents were very nice people. Normal people. Well to do even. But they didn't want her. They instead stepped aside and let us adopt her. For that I am eternally grateful. So that year BPSG; asked if we would allow them to come to our house before Christmas day so they could give Sarah her present. I didn't mind. They promised they would not tell the biological parents where we lived; that was my ONLY stipulation.
So they came by. We talked. I showed them Sarahs room. (Before we remodeled and turned it into the ultimate disney princess haven). They watched me change her diaper. Then we went into the dining room to chat. Sarah started to fuss and I had BPSG feed her a bottle. Then I brought out Sarah's scrapbook I had just started. It didn't have more than 6 pages in it but they drooled over every page.
Then they had me open Sarahs presents. The rockinghorse and an outfit. I was happy I would have something at least to save for her from them. She wore the outfit several days later and I took pictures of her in it. The BPSG asked the bio pat. grandpa(BPG) if he wanted to hold Sarah at all. He wouldn't. I understood. It was all too much for him. How hard it must have been to come into my house at all to begin with. The BPSG kept saying how maybe they could visit with us once a year or so to see Sarah every now and again. I honestly didn;t have a problem with it. I wanted to be able to give Sarah roots. BPG refused though. He told her that: "Sarah had a new family now and she was safe and would be happy and he didn't want any of them to mess with that."
After staying for about an hour; they left. I have never heard from them again. I tried sending pics in emails of Sarah to them. But I never got a reply. So I eventually stopped. How sad in one instant she lost that part of her biofamily. The normal part. How do I explain that to her?


******On a rather tacky note:: The BPSG left the price tag on the rockinghorse. I couldn't
believe it! It is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves by the way. And I know, I know it is the thought that counts. Believe me I get it. But if you were to give your only granddaughter whom was being given up for adoption ONE gift would you get it from a pawn shop and leave the tag for $3.99 on it???? Come on. It is cute; maybe it is just me; but I would probally buy something really fancy and expensive with all kinds of little clues in it should the child ever want to find me!!! LOL.....

Thoughts & Prayers Request

I wanted to post this website for a little girl named Shelby who is going through a very rough patch from Cancer...Please if you have a moment visit her site and leave her family your thoughts and prayers...it would mean so much to them....

http://www.caringbridge.com/cb/inputSiteName.do?method=search&siteName=shelbygagne

Big Girl

So I have started planning Sarahs' second (!!!) birthday party..Her birthday is not until August 8th but we are having her party in the end of July. I am one of those people who have to have everything somewhat planned WAAAAAAAAYYY ahead of schedule. Otherwise it just nags at me. So we are doing Strawberry shortcake theme. I bought a chocolate fountain for dipping strawberries and pretzels...yummy. I can't believe my baby is almost two. Where has the time gone??? It seems like just yesterday we brought her home from the hospital. Amazing. I oftenthink of her birthparents and wonder if they think about her at all...I'm sure they do--but I wonder how much. I can't imagine missing a second of her life and yet they have missed all of it so far. I know her birthmother is not doing any better and has had recent encounters with the law (to say it nicely). Sarah has such a personality. She loves to "cook" and play mommy to her babies. I'm so glad she is growing up happy and healthy--time goes by sooo fast.

Laserific!!!

Well today was the day I started my laser hair removal treatments!!! My Appointmet was at 12:30pm and I was out of that office by 12:50 pm...talk about quick!!! It was a bit painful-I'm not going to lie about that!! I think the worst of it was when they were zapping right underneath my chin area. Ewww was THAT sensitive!!! But other than that it was highly tolerable. When she announced she was done, I was like SERIOUSLY???? I just paid a fortune for a 15 minute session...WOW!!! But hey I get up to 9 treatments ( they say about 3 normally does it) and a lifetime guarentee!!! PLUS free touchups!!! So I guess it is worth it. Heck I KNOW it is worth it...I feel so much more confident already!!! I am already trying to figure out a way to get my legs done!!! Wouldn't that be sweet??? Not shaving legs anymore?!?!?!? HMMMMM...I think I am addicted!!!

Here comes Hurricane Alberto!!!

What a way to start off hurricane season with a bang!!! Forget tropical storms--our first storm of the season is a full fledged hurricane!! And the weatherman said tis was not gonna be anything major!! Ha. Shows ya that God has other things in mind.....

Just Checking in...

Not alot going on...just getting ready for our first storm (Tropical Storm Alberto) to hit us tommorrow sometime. Not overly concerned about it--we "should" just get alot of rain. I am now glad we are on the second floor though...I'm glad this will be my LAST hurricane season spent in Florida. I will gladly trade this for shoveling snow. My family up north thinks I'm nuts but they have never stood in their living room watching their windows bend inward to form a sharp V-shape, never stood outside at night right after the big one hit and see absolutely nothing--no light, no sound--nothing. This year marks the Second anniversary of our area being hit directly by Hurricane Charley. There are still thousands of damaged, destroyed homes and businesses. Blue tarp roofs are still visible. And yet this season is supposed to worse than anything we have ever seen. Sorry for the rambles. Nature just boggles my mind. There have actually been alot of things boggling my mind lately. I read quite a few web sites about children who are sick. Really sick. Terminal. My heart aches for their families. I absolutely could not imagine being in that situation. My heart is almost unable to continue working in Pediatrics as a nurse. Watching children die in the arms of their mother is becoming almost unbearable for me. Seeing the pain and anguish in parents' eyes is keeping me from sleeping lately..Sigh... I wish I knew Why? Why are precious children forced to endure horriffic illness' and face an untimely end...It just makes no sense to me. I wish there was more I could do. One of the charities I support is opening several thrift stores in North Carolina to help them support the families who deal with their childrens life threatening illness'. If anyone has any old (but good condition) childrens clothes; I implore you to box it up and send it to them, so they may try to help more families. The cost of postage is small compared with helping a fmaily afford life saving medication not covered by insurance so their child may have a shot at living... http://www3.caringbridge.org/nc/folden/
Sorry for a sad post; but if nothing else remember to give your kids a hug, and thank GOD they are happy, healthy and with you today...tommorrow is not guarenteed for anyone...

Well Well Well

I am here. I have been faithfully lurking and catching up on everybody. I really have no good excuse for not updating for so long. I have decided this summer is the summer of "Me". I am *trying* to get into shape and do little things for myself to make me happier. Including laying out tanning at the pool. All while Sarah is in school. I know I am horrible. (Evil Grin). I mean it is not like she hates school or anything. She loves it and it is her only opportunity to play with other kids her age. And besides she is only there for like 4-5 hours a day. Ok I am done defending myself!!! I am also having laser hair removal done (face: ewwww)!!! yea!! Finally; PCOS will not mark me!!! It is expensive but I need the boost for my self confidence. I deserve it. My 1st Treatment is this Wednesday!!!! I even had my hair done today!!! WooHoo!!! Well I will post a long update in a bit (promise!) I am about to fall asleep!!!