Friday, July 08, 2011

Biological Siblings

She has one full sibling and five half siblings.
Yet she is an only child.
Some of her siblings live with their father, some with grandparents and some with their other parent.
None live with their biological mother.
She complains to me frequently that she wants a brother or a sister.
She has them but does not know about them...yet.
How do you explain to an almost seven year old child the dynamics of her siblings? Why do some live with her biological father? More importantly why doesnt she live with him?
I know I am going to have to explain it to her in the future, when she is much older.

Thursday, July 07, 2011

Telling your child they are adopted

I knew right from the beginning that being anything but 100% honest with Sarah about her birth was not acceptable.

I knew the statistics that said children who find out later in life that they were adopted struggle. They feel betrayed, ungrounded, and angry.

My plan was to talk to Sarah from the very beginning about her adoption. I told her she grew in my heart, not my belly. At the time, for a toddler there were no questions. She accepted my explanation of her existence with certainty.

Now as Sarah is getting ready to turn seven, the story of her birth has grown. She knows she grew in another womens belly. She knows the first name of that woman. She knows her daddy and I took her home from the hospital.

I know the older she gets the questions will get harder to answer. I know one day she will look at me and think that I am not "really" her mother. But as I look into her eyes now as she asks me about the belly she grew in, I know I made the right decision. It is her history and she has a right to know how she came to be.

I feel as though I am in more of a grey area because she was adopted through foster care. How much do I share? Will she be devestated? Will she think less of me because her biological parents did not intend to relinquish their child?

Only time will tell. I know that she will never doubt our love for her. I know she will grow up safe and secure and have every opportunity available to her that might not have been otherwise.

Gift Cards to support adoption!!!

Ok guys. I added some gift cards to my online site that are available for purchase!

We all know gift cards make great gifts and now you can help families bring their chosen child home! 80% of ALL profits will be donated to a family who is in the process of adoption!!!

If you are interested please click on the link on the right side "Helping bring families together one child at a time"

Thank you! :)

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

Jealous? Really????

I thought I was past feeling jealous when someone was about to have a baby. My cousin is due in August with her third boy, and her baby shower is this Saturday.

Im happy for her- I truly am.

But I find myself having ugly thoughts that keep popping into my head.

Everyone is so excited. Going to great lengths to make the party fabulous. I am even co-hosting the party. But I feel...

Left out. Isolated.

Is that even possible? My daughter was adopted. I never had a baby shower or an adoption shower thrown for me.

Every baby item my daughter had- I bought it.

My step mother is even buying the crib.

I had to buy my daughters crib.

Im embarassed to say I am jealous, but I am.


I am.

I have been blessed with a family.

I have been blessed with a career I love.

I have been blessed with having so much more than most people.

Giving back is hard.

Where do I start?

There are so many things that could change the life of a person.

I think a lot about my daughter. What would have happened to her if we had not adopted her? Where would she be now? Would she be happy and healthy? Safe? Would she know love?

There are still so many children in the world who do not know the love of a family.

That is where I want to give back. But how? I am open to ideas if anyone has any. I recently opened an online store- that lets y ou buy direct from amazon. Same prices, same deals.

I have decided that 80% of any money I make by sponsoring that site will be donated to a family. A family trying to grow.

If any one would like to repost my link- on the top right side of my blog please feel free! Or if you know of a family- please send me a message!

Monday, March 15, 2010

From the heart.

Yesterday when Sarah came home from spending the night over her grandparents house she told me she went to church with Pappy and Grammie.

My dad then told me she told the pastor that she is adopted. When Sarah heard my dad tell me this, she looked at me and said "I told her I'm from the heart mommy."

A flood of emotions washed through me. I am happy she is beginning to understand how she came to be my daughter. I am also happy she feels comfortable right now to talk about it with other people.

We talk about her adoption often. I even bought an awesome book that we read by Jamie Lee Curtis, "Tell me again about the night I was born". More than anything I am pleased with myself for being able to do the right thing and have her grow up knowing the truth- or most of the truth anyways. We still plan on telling her the whole story-when she is older and able to process that information.

A few of my family members dont agree with me. They would rather I swept her prior identity under the carpet along with her original birth certificate. They see her as mine-and she is; just not by blood.

Is blood thicker than water?

Yes, I believe it is. My daughter is not my blood-but I love her more than anything on this entire planet.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Here and there,,,

Thats where I have been. I am sure no one is still reading-but that is my own fault.

Life has been going by so quickly. Sarah is in kindergarten. Growing big. Lost a tooth. The light of my life in so many ways...

I love that she is in school and learning so much. We got a puppy last year. A boxer. She is crazy- I am convinced.

We still have our chickens. Although they are more like escape artist renegades. One was actually killed in front of my daughter, by a hawk. So we had an early lesson on life and death and chicken heaven.

The winter is ending (hooray!!!). After over 3 feet of snow this year I am sure I offically have seasonal affective disorder.

We are in the middle of a major home renovation. Everything is where it should not be. Our living room is in the kitchen. And it looks as though it will be like this for at least 4 more weeks.

We are going on vacation in 12 glorious days. Disney-watch out!!! I have a little princess who will bankrupt us no doubt and run us ragged until we are on the verge of collapse.

Thats about it- and it is definately enough!!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Day 5

Still going

My husband however has unofficially crumbled. He has drastically cut down but he is not going to be able to do this without medicatation. Im fine with that-I just dont want him to quit quitting....

I found that stopping smoking has also improved my parenting skills..Heh...It has given me an edge..The edge I needed to instill soome deeply needed discipline. The edge I needed to enforce that she will eat the whole damn hotdog and NOT just four bites because her belly only wants candy.

I am embarrassed to say that before I started to quit we both were becoming the "giving in" type of parents. Trust me when I say we are both NOT the "giving in" type just became easier to do than deal with the constant tantrums, crying, slamming doors- and yes most of the crying was from me...

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Day 3

Was rough

So far so good though- I have resisted the urge for a cigarette

Do you know how many times during the day that I had that uncontrollable feeling of anxiety build up in my chest? SO many times Im not even sure on the number

My husband is trying. I give him much credit. Even though I know he snuck a cigarette last night. He denies it- but the smell resonates from him.