I sat on the floor with Sarah sunday night reading her a book. We were in her room. She has this one stuffed rockinghorse that winds up and play a lullaby. It was given to her for her first Christmas in 2004 by her biological paternal step grandmother (BPSG). Man that is a mouthful!! So she sat on my lap and I told her who it was from and we listen to it play its music. It was a very bittersweet moment. I told her that I would save it for her always and explain who it was from again when she was older. Obviously I know she did not understand a word I told her tonight.
I remember that first Christmas very well. Her biological paternal grandparents were very nice people. Normal people. Well to do even. But they didn't want her. They instead stepped aside and let us adopt her. For that I am eternally grateful. So that year BPSG; asked if we would allow them to come to our house before Christmas day so they could give Sarah her present. I didn't mind. They promised they would not tell the biological parents where we lived; that was my ONLY stipulation.
So they came by. We talked. I showed them Sarahs room. (Before we remodeled and turned it into the ultimate disney princess haven). They watched me change her diaper. Then we went into the dining room to chat. Sarah started to fuss and I had BPSG feed her a bottle. Then I brought out Sarah's scrapbook I had just started. It didn't have more than 6 pages in it but they drooled over every page.
Then they had me open Sarahs presents. The rockinghorse and an outfit. I was happy I would have something at least to save for her from them. She wore the outfit several days later and I took pictures of her in it. The BPSG asked the bio pat. grandpa(BPG) if he wanted to hold Sarah at all. He wouldn't. I understood. It was all too much for him. How hard it must have been to come into my house at all to begin with. The BPSG kept saying how maybe they could visit with us once a year or so to see Sarah every now and again. I honestly didn;t have a problem with it. I wanted to be able to give Sarah roots. BPG refused though. He told her that: "Sarah had a new family now and she was safe and would be happy and he didn't want any of them to mess with that."
After staying for about an hour; they left. I have never heard from them again. I tried sending pics in emails of Sarah to them. But I never got a reply. So I eventually stopped. How sad in one instant she lost that part of her biofamily. The normal part. How do I explain that to her?
******On a rather tacky note:: The BPSG left the price tag on the rockinghorse. I couldn't
believe it! It is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves by the way. And I know, I know it is the thought that counts. Believe me I get it. But if you were to give your only granddaughter whom was being given up for adoption ONE gift would you get it from a pawn shop and leave the tag for $3.99 on it???? Come on. It is cute; maybe it is just me; but I would probally buy something really fancy and expensive with all kinds of little clues in it should the child ever want to find me!!! LOL.....
3 comments:
*laugh* that's what I'd do - leave little clues for the baby to find later.
I do find that somewhat tacky. I mean, i'm a huge thrift store person, but I wouldn't buy something used for someone else unless if was a friend/family and I knew they'd be okay with it. But then to leave the tag on? I'm assuming it was accidentally, and that they'd probably be horrified if they knew you saw how much they paid for it...or at least, I'm hoping they would!
Even if the BPGMs are currently out of touch, good for you for talking about them and keeping them part of your daughter's story. That's all you can do and she'll be glad for it later on. Even if they never contact her again, at least she'll know that you respect her biofamily.
Kinda like getting a $3 wedding gift after spending so much money to throw a reception.
At least remove the tag...
That same question has crossed our minds with our adopted daughter. when she does get older she will have questions about her biofamily. We have been exchanging letters with them and keep their letters to her in a scrapbook for her to read when she is ready. That's really all we feel we can do to answer her questions about them..
as for the left price tag.. totally understandable! it's one of my pet peeves too. It's just plain rude to leave the tag on a gift.
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