Saturday, August 05, 2006

BAM

Just like being hit by a huge Dump truck. Just like that. No warning. No discussion. My husband left me today. Just like that--well pretty much.

My stepdaughter just returned back to her homestate this past Tuesday. The whole 6 weeks she was with us--everything was great. Or so I thought. We have always occaisionally had arguments. Nothing major. Nothing we didn't smooth over. Our conflicts were always typically over some character flaws I (and everyone else) believed he had issues with. I'm not going to get into what here---no...

But this Friday things got a little heated here...Nothing major really. Just arguing/yelling. Nothing physical. So I went to work this morning--he called me and told me to get home now.

I went home thinking something was wrong. He stated he was leaving me. He was tired of my "shit". He was tired of having to "justify" his every action/decision with me...Ummmm---is that not what marriages sometimes consist of? I mean don't married people discuss things??? Don't they make decisions TOGETHER??? Or is my perception of marriage totally warped...???

I'm by no means perfect. I know that. I can be a bitch. But I really did not see this coming. I do not think I did anything that could justify this....till death do us part right??? I guess....

So he packed ALL of his things up and left. Thank God he left while Sarah was napping. Surprisingly--I was ok with it. Until she woke up.. and asked for Daddy. Then I just lost it. How could he do this to her??? How?? Our child.

Then of course he had to come back when she was awake. To get his stupid other truck..he stayed for 15 minutes and left..She cried and cried for her daddy. She wanted to go with him...This is horrible.

He says he will come by tommorrow and see her and then he will visit every Sunday..Yeah right- I don't believe him.. Every Sunday-that is a laugh. How could you say you LOVE a child then only plan to see them once a freakin week???

I feel like I let my baby down. Now she has no father technically. I feel like it is my fault. I know once we move out of state (like planned!!) in a few months she will never see him again--I just know it. How do I explain to her that she has lost 2 daddies (bio & adoptive)??? I feel like such a failure as a wife and mother....

9 comments:

WyldJoker said...

OMG! Michelle! I'm so sorry about all this! I honestly don't know what to say... How ever you explain it to Sara make sure she knows that none of this is her fault. That's the important thing. Your family is in our prayers. For guidance, for comfort and most of all knowledge in how to help Sarah cope with it all.

DramaQueen said...

I am so sorry, this is awful. I will keep you in my prayers, yes, reminder her that it is not her fault. I am sorry that he decided to do that rather than sticking it out and working through it with you.

InDueTime said...

Michelle I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I know marriages have tough spots and wish your DH would have worked things out. Do let Sarah know it's not her fault. It's not your fault either honey. Hugs! I'm thinking about you.

Dream Mommy said...

I'm so sorry! I was shocked reading it! Will keep you and Sara in my prayers.

Tamara said...

Oh, Michelle, my heart breaks for you and Sarah. None of this is your fault. Your husband, so unfortunately, took the easy way out. Marriage is so hard - so very hard. Fortunately, she is young enough to not carry this for long. You will have the toughest job of grieving while helping her grieve. I don't understand how anyone could do that to their child - especially one that took so long to get. You are taking the BEST part of your marriage with you - Sarah. I'm praying for you all. Please let ANY of us know if we can do anything to help.

Heather said...

I'm so sorry.

Julie said...

Michelle- I am so shocked to read this- yes - i thought a dump truck really hit you till i read on- I am sad for you sad for Sarah- sad for him. I am sure this is hard for you all. I am praying for you! I hope that you can talk through this and figure something out. Marriage is hard as others have mentioned. It takes 2 to work it out- I hope you can find a way. Hang in there.

MysteriousLady said...

I am so sorry! My ex telling me was a big shocker too! He had had an affair, I found out, what was even worse, he was going back and forth between us for a long time, and I had not a clue. Not a clue.

There is probably another woman involved. I am so sorry your having to go through this.

divorce is hard on the whole family. I think my youngest handled it better then the older children did.

I wish I could just give a big {{HUG}}}. I know what your going through, I know how devistating. It takes years to learn to live with it.

I'll keep you in my prayers and thoughts. Be strong for your little one. That's what kept me going, I had to wake up and breathe everyday, because my children needed me. That's what you'll do for awhile, wake up, take a deep breath, shed a tear, and go on. You have too, your daughter needs you too!

Maya said...

I found your blog via dream mommy. Yikes, that is pretty bold of him.
I am also a step mother with no bio children starting to look into fostering. We have also had it rough with my SD. My DH, Surfer, has packed his stuff before and even left. He is now back and we are trying to work through things. It is hard.

I hope things work our for you and Sara. My dad also left when I was about 4. She will need lots of tools to deal with this.

I doubt this is about you so don't let him guilt you into taking the blame. All marriages are tough at some point. That is no excuse to walk out. He knew who you were when he married you. You work at these things, you don't abandon your family. Those are his issues.

Has he done this before? Usually when someone leaves that abruptly, they are remorseful later.

I am so sorry.