I wanted to post about initial family reactions to foster care...I wanted to share my own experience and here about everyone elses' ordeal when you first told your family you were interested in doing foster care to hopefully adopt...
We had been entertaining the idea of fostering for a year or two--actually it was mainly me... My husband wasn't sure he wanted to go down that road... Actually he wasn't even positive he wanted to adopt... But men are different (most--not ALL!!!)..My husband already had a child from a previous marriage. So he really didn't have that yearning to be a parent. Myself on the other hand, I was obsessed. After numerous rounds of infertility treatment that wrecked havoc on my body and soul- I was even more desperate to be a mommy. I did not care how I became a mommy-- I just wanted to be one.
Adoption was my only choice it seemed. I'm sure you all know how darn expensive domestic & international adoption is... Infertility treatments took their toll on us financially and I did not want to "save" for 4-5 years to be able to afford adoption. I wanted to be a mommy NOW!!!!
So that is what basically led us to the whole foster to adopt journey. It really was an ideal situation. It would cost us nothing; we would be parents; and a child would have an awesome home- which might not have had one otherwise.... Everyone's a winner--right???
Then it came time to break the news to the family...Afterall we did need references!! I told my mom and dad first. They were kinda supportive. I don't think they understood were all of this was coming from. We had (and still do) keep our whole infertility journey to ourselves. I didn't want anyones advice on how to get pregnant. I did not want our whole reproductive life to be gossiped about by family members... Yep thats my family--a bunch of gossip mongers..sigh..
Most of my extended family was really supportive--especially my cousins. The one person who loomed above our decision was my grandmother. Oh the questions she asked!!! Why do you want to do that??? Can't you have your own children??? You know those children are nothing but problems??? I used to know.....and her foster kids set fire to everything!!!! It would go on and on and on....
She could not fathom why we would do it. My one cousin told me about what she was saying behind my back... "Michelle & A must need the money....why else would they take in foster kids!!!!"
Now THAT was stepping over the line. First of all; my husband and I do really well for ourselves... I am her only grandchild that graduated highschool--let alone college!! I am her only grandchild who is married (before having kids)!!! I am her ONLY grandchild that BUILT our own house!! (on the beach no less WHEN I was ONLY 21!!!!)...Pretty good when you consider she has 32 grandkids!!!!!!!!
So the very idea she thought we were "doing" it for money enraged me. All we wanted was a child. That's it. I kept thinking, "who the heck could even MAKE any money being a foster parent??????". The board payments barely make up for the neccessities!! Good Lord.
So that was my general experience with my family. What was your like? How did you break the news to your family?? I have quite a few more issues to post about regarding this grandma!! Watch for those posts--it is going to be like group therapy in here!~!