Saturday, July 08, 2006

The first meeting...

I realized I have not blogged in a long time about our actual foster to adopt experience with Sarah. The last actual post was back in february when I was getting up to the point in posting about her first visit with biodad. So...let me get back on track...

We met at a McDonalds. I picked it. I figured since he was bringing his son, Little Boy R (Sarhas' full brother) then at least he could be distracted with the playground area. Neutral territory. Biodad also ended up bringing his stepmom (BPSM) with him. Sarah was about 4 weeks old. And tiny. SOOOO tiny. I arrived about 15 minutes early. I wanted to be the first. I think I would have been too self conscious with them watching me arrive after them. I also want to mention that DCS had given me the option of meeting them by myself, since biodad was NOT the offending parent; they truly had no concerns about him.

Sarah had her apnea monitor by then. Seems she did not like to breathe on her own sometimes. So in they came. Man it was awkward. They came in and sat down. We introduced ourselves. Noone spoke for about 5 minutes; we all just stared at baby Sarah. Then biodad started asking me questions about her. About her health, how she ate, what she ate, everything. He really was concerned. His stepmom jumped in occaisionally asking for clarification on the medical issues. So Sarah started to get hungry and I asked the biodad if he wanted to feed her. He did. So I got them all set up, as soon as he picked her up, I remember the first thing he said was "I cant believe how small and light she is."

Within 5 minutes his son he brought with him was itching to go out in the playroom. So he took him and I got to spend some time with the BPSM. She was a really nice lady. Very composed. She held Sarah for a little while and told me all kinds of stories about the bioparents. She told me she did not think the biodad should or would be able to take care of the baby. Sooo....after that was said. I took a DEEP breath and told her "Well...my husband and I would love to errr...adopt Sarah....if...ahhh....there was ever a possibility..." I figured what did I have to lose??? At least I got it out in the open. The BPSM was not negative about my comment. She agreed that would probally be the best option...she also I later found out had told the biodad what I said after we left..

The visit drew to a close after almost 2 hours. They walked me out to my car. The biodad gave me 3 CASES of the expensive DHA infant formula...that he....ahhh....lets say "aquired". All individual sealed glass bottles...like what hospitals use ((wink))...but oh well...it was a nice gesture. And we definately appreciated it since we were slammed with 3 hurricanes that summer and did not have electricity for a bit.

And that was the next to last time he saw her. The last time was right before he signed the TPR when Sarah was 4 months old. I still think of this day everytime I drivepast this Mcdonalds...which is only 5 miles from where I now live. I should take a picture of it for her scrapbook...

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