Tuesday, March 07, 2006
DCF called me today about a placement. A 2 year old little girl who was taken AGAIN from her parents. I just could not do it. As much as I hate to say it; I'm done. Life is too hectic right now. I just can't take another child with no notice and no daycare set up. Sounds horrible right?? I feel like crap! We were blessed to adopt our daughter. We eventually DO want to adopt again in the next few years; but I think we will go the International route or maybe a very open private adoption. I have to put Baby S' needs first. I want to spoil her and love her to no end. And right now; I don't want to divide my attention with another child. I mean if they were to call us tommorrow for a newborn who was defeinately going for adoption...would I do it??? Maybe, but I really don't know. It is very important to us that Baby S be the oldest of our children. I feel really really bad. Like I am letting them down. I know we have to do what is right for our own family; but I just cant shake the crummy feeling. I know we would give ANY child a safe, happy place but I am not ready to get back on the rollercoaster just yet...I didn't even tell my husband about the placement call. Shame on me. I just know I cant handle it right now.