And then we were three;

I remember the day I picked up our daughter from the hospital. It was a warm summer day. She was 11 days old. She had spent the past 11 days in the NICU. We were not allowed to visit her until her discharge day. I was so sad, everyday I called the hospital to see if “today was the day”. She was a preemie; born 7 weeks early. She spent most of her days under the bili light treating her jaundice. At birth she weighed 4 lbs 6 oz. Tiny but perfect. They told me she had a few bradycardia episodes (slow heart rate) which gradually resolved. She was born exposed to cocaine. But you would not know it if you were to look at her. She was so peaceful and not fussy at all. She never went through withdraws thank god! When I first saw her I fell in love. I had to take the discharge class, and she had to pass her hearing test and car seat test. She passed both with flying colors. Then I had to feed her before we could leave. I had never held a baby so small before. I was so nervous. She ate good for me and we packed up her things. The nurse told me, “ Im so glad she is going to a loving family. We were all worried about her. No one has ever come to see her the whole time she was here.” What????!!!! I was sooo upset. The state worker said I could not visit Baby S, but I assumed maybe someone would visit from her bio family. Nope. No one. How sad for 11 days my daughter had no one. Did she feel forgotten? I hope not. I buckled her in her seat. Got everything set up in the car. And away we went. OMG. I was a mommy. I didn’t know for how long, but right now I WAS a mommy!!! Then I panicked myself. I got sooo nervous and scared that I had to pull off the road to throw up! What a sight that was I bet! Good thing she had no clue! We made it home safely though. My jitters and butterfly stomach had resolved. And I was a mommy.